Adalaide
I've been so bad at posting about Ada since the year mark, and have been thinking of what her being in my life means to me. Honestly, she ended up defining my life when she came into it, even just when we found out we were pregnant.
I had just gone through a miscarriage 2 months before and was lucky enough to be able to try getting pregnant again within 6 weeks. Finding out was surreal. And growing slowly bigger and bigger, swelling from the inside slowly, ever so slowly feeling life move on the inside of me, it became more and more real as it got closer, and yet further and further from being real. By the end of 40 weeks of pregnancy, I felt like I would be pregnant forever. Going from that to a feeling of having a child and just some extra stomach skin in an instant is jarring and wonderful and....also surreal.
She was instant love to me. She was instant joy and peace to me. I was in so much pain and was so overwhelmed with how I was feeling, but the instant that I got to see her...it didn't matter. She was calm and sweet and just simply looked at us for a very long time. I didn't even realize I was being stitched up at first because all I could do was stare back at her. It felt like 2 minutes but it was an hour. We laid there and just looked at each other, and Matt just looked at her, and we just got lost in her deep, dark eyes.
Ada was going to be named Evelyn. But by the second day in the hospital, we didn't think that such an opinionated, lively, alert, high-energy baby would make for an Evelyn, especially in comparison to an Adalaide. And we knew instantly that that's what we wanted her name to be.
Adalaide fought feeding early on when it didn't come naturally, but she has also always absolutely hated being hungry. She fought sleep because she didn't seem to like missing out on anything. But when she wasn't tired and hungry — still when she isn't — she is one of the happiest, sweetest, most energetic people I've ever been lucky enough to know. When she is hungry or tired or both, she is cranky and silly and still loves us but always focuses on what she wants until she gets it.
Adalaide kicked her legs practically all the time she was awake from the very beginning, she held her head up within weeks, she could roll by a few months old and was trying to crawl before 6 months. She could sit up by 7.5 months and was trying to stand up against things by 8 months. She could walk by 10.5-11 months just alright and was very sturdy by one year old. She's a babbler, an observer, a teaser, a kisser, a playmate, a lover, a reader. Adalaide is smart, sweet, kind, funny, silly, happy, curious, beautiful and so in love with life.
After the darkness of the traumatic loss of life that I experienced in the dark cold of December, Adalaide was an instant blast of loud, sweet, SURE sunshine in the middle of a warm night in October. She came right when she was supposed to but was still the biggest surprise of our lives. She is our entire lives. She is everything that we love the most. She is GOODNESS. She makes everything harder and different and better.
And we get her forever.
I had just gone through a miscarriage 2 months before and was lucky enough to be able to try getting pregnant again within 6 weeks. Finding out was surreal. And growing slowly bigger and bigger, swelling from the inside slowly, ever so slowly feeling life move on the inside of me, it became more and more real as it got closer, and yet further and further from being real. By the end of 40 weeks of pregnancy, I felt like I would be pregnant forever. Going from that to a feeling of having a child and just some extra stomach skin in an instant is jarring and wonderful and....also surreal.
She was instant love to me. She was instant joy and peace to me. I was in so much pain and was so overwhelmed with how I was feeling, but the instant that I got to see her...it didn't matter. She was calm and sweet and just simply looked at us for a very long time. I didn't even realize I was being stitched up at first because all I could do was stare back at her. It felt like 2 minutes but it was an hour. We laid there and just looked at each other, and Matt just looked at her, and we just got lost in her deep, dark eyes.
Ada was going to be named Evelyn. But by the second day in the hospital, we didn't think that such an opinionated, lively, alert, high-energy baby would make for an Evelyn, especially in comparison to an Adalaide. And we knew instantly that that's what we wanted her name to be.
Adalaide fought feeding early on when it didn't come naturally, but she has also always absolutely hated being hungry. She fought sleep because she didn't seem to like missing out on anything. But when she wasn't tired and hungry — still when she isn't — she is one of the happiest, sweetest, most energetic people I've ever been lucky enough to know. When she is hungry or tired or both, she is cranky and silly and still loves us but always focuses on what she wants until she gets it.
Adalaide kicked her legs practically all the time she was awake from the very beginning, she held her head up within weeks, she could roll by a few months old and was trying to crawl before 6 months. She could sit up by 7.5 months and was trying to stand up against things by 8 months. She could walk by 10.5-11 months just alright and was very sturdy by one year old. She's a babbler, an observer, a teaser, a kisser, a playmate, a lover, a reader. Adalaide is smart, sweet, kind, funny, silly, happy, curious, beautiful and so in love with life.
After the darkness of the traumatic loss of life that I experienced in the dark cold of December, Adalaide was an instant blast of loud, sweet, SURE sunshine in the middle of a warm night in October. She came right when she was supposed to but was still the biggest surprise of our lives. She is our entire lives. She is everything that we love the most. She is GOODNESS. She makes everything harder and different and better.
And we get her forever.
I can't believe I just found this! Mandy you are an incredible writer and I LOVE how clearly I can hear your voice in this. All of the entries I have read have been beautiful and touching. You are an incredible person and I am so grateful I got to have a little peak into your life through this blog.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Amanda Johnston (Pouh)