my first baby || you are enough
Ada, I knew I needed to write something like this before this next little baby was actually born and in my arms, because after that nothing will be the same again. The other night we thought I might be going into labor and after putting you to bed and reading stories and kissing you A LOT, we drove to the hospital, only to realize very quickly that we would be coming back home again soon. But it made me realize how badly I wanted to spend every single moment with you that I could up until I knew this baby would come. The baby could technically come at any time, but I have a feeling that this one will have to be forced out just like you did.
I also realized I hadn't written all of the things I wanted to before I was the official mother of more than just one child. This baby has moved inside of me for months, and I've known for much longer than that that I was supposed to have them. In fact, you're the reason I was so frantic to get pregnant: I wanted you to have a close sibling to connect with, grow with, love. I didn't want the gap to be too big, even though selfishly I wanted just you all to myself, giving you all the attention I wanted for a long time. I knew I would be sad later down the road if we only had you because I know how important sibling bonds are, and I know we have more children to share this life with. But as I have thought about being your mother for more than two and a half years, and doing little else, and what it has meant to me to be able to devote so much of myself to just you, I realized one truly important thing I needed to tell you now so that you can know it forever.
You are enough.
If you were the only child I had been able to have, if for some reason, it could only have been you...you have been enough. You have been more than enough to bring me every happiness in the world I could never have known without you. You were enough to teach me ultimate love, neverending and relentless and powerful-beyond-measure love. I will love each of my children the same because that's how a mother's heart works: it grows, it doesn't have to be split. BUT, if you were all I had, it would be enough. You would be enough. You are enough and always have been.
You will not remember all of the moments that we have had together, just you and me; you will not remember later what it was like to be the only one I loved as my most precious child. But I will never forget. I cannot forget, and that is the greatest gift I will ever get from you. You have been all of you for me, you have not held back, you have been everything for two years and nearly eight months. You have been everything I could have dreamed of, times a trillion. You are light and good and brightness and hope and I will forever be grateful to know you better than any other person does.
One day you'll go out on your own. You'll figure out the world, you'll learn, you'll fail, you'll grow, you'll change, you'll continue to shape yourself, even more than you did when you were in our home with us. But you'll still be enough. You'll never not be enough, no matter what you do, say, choose. No matter what happens in this life or any life after, you'll have been enough for me.
I love you forever, Adalaide Margena Ditto. Thank you for being my all, my everything, my favorite child, my girl, my love, for 2.5 of the best years of my life. Love, mama
https://mom.com/kids/101655-youll-never-know?fbclid=IwAR1m-wzpcl9XywYQyq63ZaQ0ZLcuzN5zDAo-KLWsEb-H8UQAPJ4j8_4pipk
I also realized I hadn't written all of the things I wanted to before I was the official mother of more than just one child. This baby has moved inside of me for months, and I've known for much longer than that that I was supposed to have them. In fact, you're the reason I was so frantic to get pregnant: I wanted you to have a close sibling to connect with, grow with, love. I didn't want the gap to be too big, even though selfishly I wanted just you all to myself, giving you all the attention I wanted for a long time. I knew I would be sad later down the road if we only had you because I know how important sibling bonds are, and I know we have more children to share this life with. But as I have thought about being your mother for more than two and a half years, and doing little else, and what it has meant to me to be able to devote so much of myself to just you, I realized one truly important thing I needed to tell you now so that you can know it forever.
You are enough.
If you were the only child I had been able to have, if for some reason, it could only have been you...you have been enough. You have been more than enough to bring me every happiness in the world I could never have known without you. You were enough to teach me ultimate love, neverending and relentless and powerful-beyond-measure love. I will love each of my children the same because that's how a mother's heart works: it grows, it doesn't have to be split. BUT, if you were all I had, it would be enough. You would be enough. You are enough and always have been.
You will not remember all of the moments that we have had together, just you and me; you will not remember later what it was like to be the only one I loved as my most precious child. But I will never forget. I cannot forget, and that is the greatest gift I will ever get from you. You have been all of you for me, you have not held back, you have been everything for two years and nearly eight months. You have been everything I could have dreamed of, times a trillion. You are light and good and brightness and hope and I will forever be grateful to know you better than any other person does.
One day you'll go out on your own. You'll figure out the world, you'll learn, you'll fail, you'll grow, you'll change, you'll continue to shape yourself, even more than you did when you were in our home with us. But you'll still be enough. You'll never not be enough, no matter what you do, say, choose. No matter what happens in this life or any life after, you'll have been enough for me.
I love you forever, Adalaide Margena Ditto. Thank you for being my all, my everything, my favorite child, my girl, my love, for 2.5 of the best years of my life. Love, mama
https://mom.com/kids/101655-youll-never-know?fbclid=IwAR1m-wzpcl9XywYQyq63ZaQ0ZLcuzN5zDAo-KLWsEb-H8UQAPJ4j8_4pipk
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