6 months ago
6 months ago exactly, to this day, Friday the 13th of October—the day I had looked forward to for 8.5 months—I went in to have my first baby, the newest addition to our everything, my favorite tiny person. It's incredible—and pretty much impossible—to remember what it was like before she came, to to fathom the idea of preparing to change my life in the most intense way possible.
I won't forget having to *sheepishly* undress with the help of little Nepalese nurse Rajj to get into a hospital gown; I won't forget constantly readjusting the monitors on my huge bulging belly to hear baby's heartbeat; I'll always remember bouncing on an exercise ball as the contractions grew stronger and stronger; I won't ever be able to forget tears stinging my eyes as the anesthesiologist poked to wrong part of my back repeatedly; I'll forever remember the rush I got thinking of my baby on the way when we found out I was a 10 and they broke my water; I will never (though I've already tried) forget nearly three hours of pushing to get that baby in my arms.
I will NEVER, EVER forget 3:09 am, when a tiny, blueish, wet baby with huge eyes and a head of light hair looked straight at me after making the scariest dark journey from her first home to her forever home with us. She had a massive bruise covering the entire back of her head and she needed help to cry, but she just stared at us. When she was laid on my chest, she jsut looked at M and I for the entire time, nuzzling in and never taking her huge eyes away.
I will never forget the unbelievable bursting that my heart did as I looked back at the most beautiful thing I'd ever known.
I will never forget looking at her tiny wrapped up body in the plastic bassinet as she lay peacefully sleeping, and taking the first picture I ever would of her, with the prettiest tiny face I had ever seen.
I will never forget her being 2 months old and feeding her on my parents' couch over Christmas break as she stared up at me, and watched my every move, her (then) dark eyes unblinking as they met mine and held the gaze.
I will never forget looking down on her at 3:09 am at 4 months, 5 months, and now 6 months. Hoping more than anything that she won't stop wanting to look at me, to learn, to stop and just breathe in everything.
I won't ever forget 6 months ago.
I won't forget having to *sheepishly* undress with the help of little Nepalese nurse Rajj to get into a hospital gown; I won't forget constantly readjusting the monitors on my huge bulging belly to hear baby's heartbeat; I'll always remember bouncing on an exercise ball as the contractions grew stronger and stronger; I won't ever be able to forget tears stinging my eyes as the anesthesiologist poked to wrong part of my back repeatedly; I'll forever remember the rush I got thinking of my baby on the way when we found out I was a 10 and they broke my water; I will never (though I've already tried) forget nearly three hours of pushing to get that baby in my arms.
I will NEVER, EVER forget 3:09 am, when a tiny, blueish, wet baby with huge eyes and a head of light hair looked straight at me after making the scariest dark journey from her first home to her forever home with us. She had a massive bruise covering the entire back of her head and she needed help to cry, but she just stared at us. When she was laid on my chest, she jsut looked at M and I for the entire time, nuzzling in and never taking her huge eyes away.
I will never forget the unbelievable bursting that my heart did as I looked back at the most beautiful thing I'd ever known.
I will never forget looking at her tiny wrapped up body in the plastic bassinet as she lay peacefully sleeping, and taking the first picture I ever would of her, with the prettiest tiny face I had ever seen.
I will never forget her being 2 months old and feeding her on my parents' couch over Christmas break as she stared up at me, and watched my every move, her (then) dark eyes unblinking as they met mine and held the gaze.
I will never forget looking down on her at 3:09 am at 4 months, 5 months, and now 6 months. Hoping more than anything that she won't stop wanting to look at me, to learn, to stop and just breathe in everything.
I won't ever forget 6 months ago.
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