forever IS a long time
Today I was talking to someone I love dearly, and as we spoke about mine and Mr. Ditto's upcoming wedding (4 weeks from today is the celebration party for it!) I said something about how everything was going to be good — because I have found the person I want to be with forever. What she said back surprised me:
" Oh hunny, forever isn't usually as long as you think."
She said it in this sharp, bitter tone, as if wanting to help me not get my hopes up about forever. As if forever with someone didn't often end up actually being forever.
Now, I know she didn't have her forever end up the way she hoped. In fact, her forever was only for a few decades. But poor choices + difficult circumstances often out of our control will turn many wonderful things rotten. What's she's faced is painful. But her forever is not mine. And she is not me.
All afternoon and evening, I continued thinking about that comment and how it really struck a chord. I thought about it as I watched two couples, who are also four great friends of mine, as they interacted differently with each other — one has been married over 2 years, the other has been married just over 1 year. They are all very different people, but it was interesting to see how their forever—the very beginning of their forever, mind you—was going. Maybe it's just time, and I am fully aware that the honeymoon stage doesn't last forever. But I think it's also how you decide to treat that person you decide to spend forever with, from the moment that you become one. I know it sounds entirely idealistic (something I've been accused of being too much of, plenty of times in my life), but I hope that Mr. Ditto and I can find a good balance where showing others that our forever is ALL THAT WE WANT is always important, no matter what is going on or how long we have been together.
All I can think about is how much I want to spend forever with him. It's the most incredible and glowing feeling. It makes EVERYTHING, even the tiniest detail of life, better. To know you have someone, who doesn't just make you want to fly, but also feels the same way about you.
I can't think of how I would ever not want forever with him. However, I also know that all of this won't be easy every second. We have to WORK for our forever, and I am not ignorant to the fact that we may often want to try less in some instances. But we won't. We've decided now that this is what we want, and that we will only have one forever, with each other. Thinking about marrying my Ditto next month is sometimes all I can think about—and I won't stop thinking about how to make it work until the end of forever.
Because all that I want is to see that huge grin on his face every day when he makes a dorky joke and cracks me up. All I want is to make dinner with him every night and goof off to clean up the dishes. All I want is to hold his hand everywhere I go in public, a hand that is perfect for mine. All I want is to wake up and know I get to see his face first. All I want is to know that every day we are going to laugh and cry and smile together.
Those things are all the reason why I am never going to stop fighting for my forever. I am never going to settle for a shorter forever than forever. Because of him. Forever is a long time. And that's the only way I want it.
" Oh hunny, forever isn't usually as long as you think."
She said it in this sharp, bitter tone, as if wanting to help me not get my hopes up about forever. As if forever with someone didn't often end up actually being forever.
Now, I know she didn't have her forever end up the way she hoped. In fact, her forever was only for a few decades. But poor choices + difficult circumstances often out of our control will turn many wonderful things rotten. What's she's faced is painful. But her forever is not mine. And she is not me.
All afternoon and evening, I continued thinking about that comment and how it really struck a chord. I thought about it as I watched two couples, who are also four great friends of mine, as they interacted differently with each other — one has been married over 2 years, the other has been married just over 1 year. They are all very different people, but it was interesting to see how their forever—the very beginning of their forever, mind you—was going. Maybe it's just time, and I am fully aware that the honeymoon stage doesn't last forever. But I think it's also how you decide to treat that person you decide to spend forever with, from the moment that you become one. I know it sounds entirely idealistic (something I've been accused of being too much of, plenty of times in my life), but I hope that Mr. Ditto and I can find a good balance where showing others that our forever is ALL THAT WE WANT is always important, no matter what is going on or how long we have been together.
All I can think about is how much I want to spend forever with him. It's the most incredible and glowing feeling. It makes EVERYTHING, even the tiniest detail of life, better. To know you have someone, who doesn't just make you want to fly, but also feels the same way about you.
I can't think of how I would ever not want forever with him. However, I also know that all of this won't be easy every second. We have to WORK for our forever, and I am not ignorant to the fact that we may often want to try less in some instances. But we won't. We've decided now that this is what we want, and that we will only have one forever, with each other. Thinking about marrying my Ditto next month is sometimes all I can think about—and I won't stop thinking about how to make it work until the end of forever.
Because all that I want is to see that huge grin on his face every day when he makes a dorky joke and cracks me up. All I want is to make dinner with him every night and goof off to clean up the dishes. All I want is to hold his hand everywhere I go in public, a hand that is perfect for mine. All I want is to wake up and know I get to see his face first. All I want is to know that every day we are going to laugh and cry and smile together.
Those things are all the reason why I am never going to stop fighting for my forever. I am never going to settle for a shorter forever than forever. Because of him. Forever is a long time. And that's the only way I want it.
You two will certainly have forever, because you will choose that. We are so happy you found each other. Read this talk, I know you'll love it. We try to read it every Valentine's Day together. Marriage is the best thing that has ever happened to me, because I married the right person. And you're about to do the same! https://www.lds.org/new-era/2003/09/finding-your-sweetheart?lang=eng
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Rach! I'm going to read this article tonight, and I'm going to share it with M too. I know that finding the right person has been the best thing that has happened to me so far, and that makes forever so exciting.
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