old maid
Remember the card game Old Maid? Every card has a match and you try to make as many pairs as you can, while not keeping the Old Maid in your hand of cards, because the loser is always the one who ends up with her. The Old Maid is always alone. Always.
What if that's me?
I seriously have that fear sometimes. Okay, that's a lie, I have it all of the time. And yes, I understand that right now it doesn't matter. I am going on a mission. And that is all I want to do right now. But now that I know I am going on a mission, and hopefully soon, I have this understanding of the chance and openness to being married is also closer.
Time out. Don't think I expect to be married even within a year of being back from the mish. No way. I will have to have at least a year to date someone before I even seriously consider marriage. BUT. Before, when I 1. knew my mission was kind of a ways away itself and 2. absolutely knew marriage wasn't in the cards until after that, I was much more secure in knowing it was a thing of the future and sure, yeah, would happen. I'll get married. Everyone does. It happens. If you want it, you get it. In most cases. I understand that isn't always the case.
Now my problem isn't really worrying about not getting the chance to get married. I'm sure there will be at least one stupid guy who proposes on the second date or something because he is so desperate. And that's where I would whip out my Elizabeth Bennett alter-ego. Which means that would never happen. So I'm safe on that count
But...what if those are the only chances I get?? What if the only guys who feel like that for me are the awkward, sometimes obnoxious, bad at communicating, occasionally rude, ones that I don't even find attractive? Or the creeps? Or the guys who turn out to be mean? If there is one thing I have never been TOO picky about is looks. I don't have to have Thor or Ryan Reynolds-esque (but oh my lanta wouldn't that be something?) men. Really. But I have to be attracted in some ways. WHAT IF THE ONES WHO WANT ME AREN'T EVEN ATTRACTIVE TO ME??
Alright, so I'm overreacting. But really. I'm allowed to worry about this a bit, right?? I know everything works out if you have faith. I just have to trust the Lord with my heart and he won't let me miss out on someone who also likes Star Wars and Disneyland (speaking of which—heard about Disney buying Lucasfilms?? That's a whole other post....) and thinks it's funny when my jokes flop and will eat party pizza with me every once and a while and who thinks I'm pretty, even when I laugh like an idiot. And who I find good looking.
I'm a survialist. I was raised to be independent and alright on my own. But as I think about it, I KNOW that I don't want to just survive by myself. As someone wise and wonderful once told me, we aren't meant to be alone.
Well, except for that poor Old Maid.
What if that's me?
I seriously have that fear sometimes. Okay, that's a lie, I have it all of the time. And yes, I understand that right now it doesn't matter. I am going on a mission. And that is all I want to do right now. But now that I know I am going on a mission, and hopefully soon, I have this understanding of the chance and openness to being married is also closer.
Time out. Don't think I expect to be married even within a year of being back from the mish. No way. I will have to have at least a year to date someone before I even seriously consider marriage. BUT. Before, when I 1. knew my mission was kind of a ways away itself and 2. absolutely knew marriage wasn't in the cards until after that, I was much more secure in knowing it was a thing of the future and sure, yeah, would happen. I'll get married. Everyone does. It happens. If you want it, you get it. In most cases. I understand that isn't always the case.
Now my problem isn't really worrying about not getting the chance to get married. I'm sure there will be at least one stupid guy who proposes on the second date or something because he is so desperate. And that's where I would whip out my Elizabeth Bennett alter-ego. Which means that would never happen. So I'm safe on that count
But...what if those are the only chances I get?? What if the only guys who feel like that for me are the awkward, sometimes obnoxious, bad at communicating, occasionally rude, ones that I don't even find attractive? Or the creeps? Or the guys who turn out to be mean? If there is one thing I have never been TOO picky about is looks. I don't have to have Thor or Ryan Reynolds-esque (but oh my lanta wouldn't that be something?) men. Really. But I have to be attracted in some ways. WHAT IF THE ONES WHO WANT ME AREN'T EVEN ATTRACTIVE TO ME??
Alright, so I'm overreacting. But really. I'm allowed to worry about this a bit, right?? I know everything works out if you have faith. I just have to trust the Lord with my heart and he won't let me miss out on someone who also likes Star Wars and Disneyland (speaking of which—heard about Disney buying Lucasfilms?? That's a whole other post....) and thinks it's funny when my jokes flop and will eat party pizza with me every once and a while and who thinks I'm pretty, even when I laugh like an idiot. And who I find good looking.
I'm a survialist. I was raised to be independent and alright on my own. But as I think about it, I KNOW that I don't want to just survive by myself. As someone wise and wonderful once told me, we aren't meant to be alone.
Well, except for that poor Old Maid.
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