great hope and good hair
When I officially decided I was going on a mission and it was sooner than I had originally planned, it was like all of the sudden my marriage radar turned to a hyper-aware degree. It had nothing to do with me wanting marriage all of the sudden; it was more as if, all of the sudden, every bit of me understood that after my mission, it was all gonna get real. I wouldn't have a scapegoat, a reason or excuse to not feel serious or ready for marriage, besides...actually not wanting it or being ready. That isn't fun to face with someone you really love.
And then there was the thought of "What if they are all gone? What if there isn't anyone I would want around when I get back?" That's stupid, right? I am fully aware that there are over 3 billion males on this planet. However, it is not as easy as you may think, even being at a college of completely eligible and great guys, to find what works best for you. And yeah, now I sound like I am shooting too high or have ridiculous expectations, but yeah. I expect some things. Why? Because I have found guys before — both as friends and "more" — who were truly the best I could ask for. So, I know they are out there.
But, when I get home, I will be at least 22!! *gasp* Not that old?!? Yes, it is true. Okay, so now I just sound like a big whiner...but here is the thing. Guys want YOUNG. Guys want 18, 19, even 20. And I may be there now, but by the time I am back I will be over 20—NO!! Right? So...even if I am on a campus packed with at least 9,000 college-aged males, once you whittle it all down to the ones I would probably most like, and then go further to find those okay with "older" women [yes, I know, Utah college culture is STUPID]...well. I may have one or two. And there is about a 0.0001 percent chance that they will have the things, especially those knit-picky ones, that I most want. And there is an even smaller chance that they will be guys I will end up being absolutely crazy about. Because I have to have that "crazy-for" feeling or no blingy-ring, eternal dealio is going down.
So, back to square one. And—finally—back to "the best part of it all" [yeah yeah, I know I'm long-winded]. Meeting Guy #2 I had the most wonderful realization. Even though he seems so wonderful to me, and is a great guy that many girls would like to be friends with and know and date, he is just another guy. He is just one more in the huge mix of guys in this area, this state, this country, this world. And yet, to me, he is in so many ways amazing. Well...there isn't just one of those. There are plenty of other guys that are wonderful and perfect to other girls who are not me. There are always guys, let alone people, who are good and right and wonderful to each individual. That includes me.
So, for those of you who didn't want to drudge through that horrendously, and accidentally, long post, here is the take-home:
The best part=meeting someone good and great and perfect to you should renew hope, in a sense, that there are amazing people in this world to have as friends, connections, family, loves. There is always SOMEBODY out there for you. There are also lots of "somebodys" out there for you. And it's all going to work out.
There is hope. And, if you really care that much, there is also great hair.
And then there was the thought of "What if they are all gone? What if there isn't anyone I would want around when I get back?" That's stupid, right? I am fully aware that there are over 3 billion males on this planet. However, it is not as easy as you may think, even being at a college of completely eligible and great guys, to find what works best for you. And yeah, now I sound like I am shooting too high or have ridiculous expectations, but yeah. I expect some things. Why? Because I have found guys before — both as friends and "more" — who were truly the best I could ask for. So, I know they are out there.
But, when I get home, I will be at least 22!! *gasp* Not that old?!? Yes, it is true. Okay, so now I just sound like a big whiner...but here is the thing. Guys want YOUNG. Guys want 18, 19, even 20. And I may be there now, but by the time I am back I will be over 20—NO!! Right? So...even if I am on a campus packed with at least 9,000 college-aged males, once you whittle it all down to the ones I would probably most like, and then go further to find those okay with "older" women [yes, I know, Utah college culture is STUPID]...well. I may have one or two. And there is about a 0.0001 percent chance that they will have the things, especially those knit-picky ones, that I most want. And there is an even smaller chance that they will be guys I will end up being absolutely crazy about. Because I have to have that "crazy-for" feeling or no blingy-ring, eternal dealio is going down.
So, back to square one. And—finally—back to "the best part of it all" [yeah yeah, I know I'm long-winded]. Meeting Guy #2 I had the most wonderful realization. Even though he seems so wonderful to me, and is a great guy that many girls would like to be friends with and know and date, he is just another guy. He is just one more in the huge mix of guys in this area, this state, this country, this world. And yet, to me, he is in so many ways amazing. Well...there isn't just one of those. There are plenty of other guys that are wonderful and perfect to other girls who are not me. There are always guys, let alone people, who are good and right and wonderful to each individual. That includes me.
So, for those of you who didn't want to drudge through that horrendously, and accidentally, long post, here is the take-home:
The best part=meeting someone good and great and perfect to you should renew hope, in a sense, that there are amazing people in this world to have as friends, connections, family, loves. There is always SOMEBODY out there for you. There are also lots of "somebodys" out there for you. And it's all going to work out.
There is hope. And, if you really care that much, there is also great hair.
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