i'm such a jerk

It's over. At least I think it is. Isn't it amazing how quickly your life can change? How one day it's one way and then the next...it has done a total 360? How the crap does that happen? How is it that some decisions can be so big and influential that they make it all change?

I love him. But everything is a big huge mess, all smashed and scattered on the floor, and I'm not sure how to clean it up this time. I see beautiful pieces sitting among the wreckage, and I keep thinking, "How did I so easily throw something so precious and good and wonderful away? How did that happen?"

I guess we'll see. I'm trying to start on the small stuff, the pieces I can manage to get without slicing my skin open on the sharp edges. It may take a while to get it all together again. I don't think there's any kind of glue or tape that can put this back together.