the nudge (and the gnome)
Sometimes, I reread a few old blog posts and think of all of the things in my head and on my heart that I could write about. I think about the things I want to write about, the things I could put from inside me out into the world for me to always remember. But I cannot. I cannot just write what I want when I feel like it. It doesn't work that way. For me, writing happens because of the nudge. It is a feeling I get inside, like somewhere deep inside my writing gnome who lives amongst my organs finally nudges me, hands a paper with what needs to come out all the way up to brain. And then, when I finally sit down to my computer, by journal, whatever, it comes out of my hands. I have smothered that gnome inside of me for awhile now. The rushed feeling that comes with having so much in life to do seems like it would happen gradually. And in some ways, it does. In other ways, you look back and suddenly can count multiple years since you did something, since you sat bored with a clean